Welcome to our journey

It was about 6 years ago and I was browsing Scruff, a gay hookup app, and I got an instant message. A young guy wanted to chat and maybe hook up. I looked at his profile and he had a handsome pic with a playful smile. We chatted a little more and then he sent me a message I hadn’t seen before …

“I want to dom you” it said.

“You want to what?” I thought to myself. It took a second for his request to register in my mind. I was pretty vanilla up to this point but I was intrigued. I had fantasized about this before, was on a St. Andrew’s Cross for a photo shoot, but never acted on it or asked anyone to do so.

“What do you have in mind?” I asked. He mentioned a few things like force me to blow him, piss down my throat, but basically, I was to show up, get naked, get on my knees and do whatever I was told. I was not to know his name. He was just SIR.

I had no idea what a journey I was about to begin!

I arrived at his apartment; the room was dark and empty. I was instructed to come into the room, strip, kneel and wait. Again, I was to address him as SIR.

There was porn playing on the laptop as I came in. I stripped, knelt and waited. He came in the room and sat on the sofa.

“Look down, don’t look at me!” I kept my head down.

“Put this shirt on” I almost came from the aroma. It was a t-shirt he used as a cum rag. It had months and months of dried cum on it. The smell was intoxicating. “This is my cumrag and that’s what you are, so you’re gonna wear it while I use you.”

“Thank you SIR”

SIR began playing with my ass, he tried to get his fist in, but I wasn’t fully opened yet. He had me on my knees, head pushed to the floor, and he just kept using my asshole. I began chewing on his t-shirt and couldn’t believe how great his dried cum tasted. He tried to fist me again, fucked me for a while, then  made me suck his cock, then back around to my ass when suddenly he said ”  I have to piss” and then he proceeded to piss  up my ass. As soon as I was full of piss he got really hard and came in my ass in no time. I couldn’t believe how hot this was.

“May I drink it Sir? I asked. He got me a glass and I pissed this beautiful ass cocktail into a glass and guzzled it all down.

I was hooked.

I have been his pigg and slave ever since.  It has been a powerful journey for both of us.

A few months later he opened my ass and I take his fist with ease. He has abused me with electricity, with a flogger. I love getting a beating from him. I always obey and thank him for whatever I receive.

The intensity of our relationship has waxed and waned over time and circumstances, but we have always remained committed to what we began. He will always own me. I will always be his slave. This exchange has really helped me see who I am and what I want.

I WANT to be his slave. I WANT to be his property. I WANT to kneel at his feet and have no other purpose than to please him and obey. I love to give him this power over me. It is the most natural, comfortable and exciting thing I have experienced in decades.  I had a tattoo inked around my asshole with his initials in the tattoo. I have been marked as his property.

Recently we were chatting about body modification and he told me he would love it if I rerouted my urethra!  He wants me to get a hole made behind my balls so I piss and cum through there.  I went online and started looking at pics and reading some stories about it.  I love urethra play and this seemed really hot to me.  SIR started calling this my new pussy. He wants to own my masculinity.

A long time ago I came across a fascinating story of a man that wanted to become a eunuch. He journaled about his desire and his experience of doing this to himself. He used a Burdizzo clamp to accomplish his goal. This device is used on farms to castrate animals. You get the cord coming down in the scrotum to the testicle in this device and then you squeeze the handle and it crushes and snaps the cord … no more blood to the testicle. It withers and dies. Some users report the pain on a human is not that bad, others call it excruciating.  Whatever the pain, the effect is the same. Your balls wither and die. While this method is not as effective on humans as it is on, say a bull, if done properly it is fairly reliable.

I have decided I want to give my balls to my Master and become his Eunuch. It’s so fucking exciting to think about. I also decided I want to write this journal about this experience to help me understand why I want to do this and what it means to me. This is the first installment.

Master/Sub relations are about power and the exchange of power. The sub gives the power; the Master takes it and uses it as he will. However, at the end of the day, when the play stops or gets out of hand the power is returned and the exchange ends. When my owner closes the clamp and cuts the cords to my balls he will take something very powerful from me that will always remain his. I offer him the core of my masculinity … he will own it forever. Even if he wanted to, he cannot give it back. My balls will wither and die. It will change me forever. That is the great gift I want to give him.

He is as excited to take the gift as I am to give it. It will bond us forever. I imagine being bound and gagged. I imagine my arms outstretched and tied to the floor. My Master puts the jaws of the device in place and locks it down on my first testicle. He looks in my eyes as smiles as he crushes my cord. I explode in pain and agony and love and devotion all at once. He leaves it on for 30 minutes to ensure the cord is crushed and beyond repair. He releases the grip and repositions for my other testicle. I can barely breathe and I’m writhing in pain.  He gets the jaws in place again on my other cord. This time we both know exactly what’s coming. His smile is even broader, he whispers: ‘Fuck yeah, pigg’ as he takes my second nut. And it’s done. I am changed forever. I am his Eunuch.

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